thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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