yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
