It's like God shit irony all over that family
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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