Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you would pick up someone in the library
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
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The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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