put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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