she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
