I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
