I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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