Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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