You can't special order awesome
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
