i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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