so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
