Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
