I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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