Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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