Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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