just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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