I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We talked him into tasing himself.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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