I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
