He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
