Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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