States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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