So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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