The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
