That's intense
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So vagazzling was a success
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
