I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
