I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
