So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
