Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
