"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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