I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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