I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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