sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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