After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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