eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We're too hungover to prance.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
