I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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