after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
