You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
