he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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