I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
