so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So many bounce houses so little time
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You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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