I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
