i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
