i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
