I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Boobs speak an international language.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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