I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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