does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
