apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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