Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
