Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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