You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
