Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
