i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize