Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
