the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
