Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We smell like vodka and hangover
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
