absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
