I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
How's work?
Spinning.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
