Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
