The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
