i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
