He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
