Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
