he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We are all done wearing pants today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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